Boink N Oink Bacon Lube

Ever think to yourself, "I really need some sugar-free, Kosher, Bacon Lube?" If so, you're in luck!

PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer

I know it's been too long since I've put up a new post and I have so many great skull things that would have been good for holiday presents too, but sometimes real life just gets in the way. However, nothing could break me out of my funk faster than this.

PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer - $3.99

As soon as I saw this, I had to run to post it as fast as I could.

PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer will give your hands the distinct odor of crisp, delicious bacon. Be germ-free and smell like delicious meat? Yes, please!

Bacon Lube is here!

It started as a April Fool's joke. Little did J&D's realize that people would actually be clamoring for it. Not ones to let down their bacon-loving bretheren, J&D's made it happen.





Baconlube™, the world's first bacon-flavored personal lubricant and massage oil ($11.99). Now before you start wrinking your nose and making "ew" faces, have you ever tasted regular lube? I imagine this can only be an improvement.

Bacon Frosting

Yes, it's real. Really, really real.

Keep a tube of Bacon Flavored-Frosting on hand to finish off a dessert masterpiece, add sweet smoky delight to any dish, or indulge in a delicious squirt right onto your tongue. $5.00 for 2.1 oz.

Effervescent Bacon Drink Tablets

Effervescent Bacon Drink Tablets -$3.50

Even I think that the bacon madness may have gone a little too far with this but...it is kinda cool in a weird novelty way. I'm pretty sure the people at Archie McPhee are high all the time, you need to be to think up things like this. If you drop one of these magic tablets into a glass of water it will instantly begin to dissolve, creating a cascade of bubbles that will infuse the water with a delicious bacon flavor. They say they work just as well in milk or juice but that's kinda gross. Each tin contains about fifteen tablets.

Thanksgiving Gumballs - $3.50

There's no bacon in these Thanksgiving gumballs but I think they're neat although I don't expect them to be that tasty. They remind me of the three-course dinner gum from Willy Wonka although I hope these don't require a trip to the Juicing Room. Each tin contains about twenty-two gumballs in the classic flavors of Thanksgiving - turkey, cranberry and pumpkin pie. While we're on the subject, scientists are working on gum that would taste like a three-course mean. For realz.

In other exciting bacon news, a few weeks ago, I was checking out an amazing looking recipe for Praline Bacon Ice Cream on the excellent ice cream blog, Scoop Adventures. Ice cream maker extraordinaire, Lindsay, made some for the Bacon Takedown in New Orleans.


She was also giving away 10 pounds of bacon from Hormel and an awesome Bacon Takedown apron. I entered and actually WON! I've been handing out free bacon to friends and family and the Bacon Takedown apron looks great hanging in my kitchen. Thanks so much to Lindsay and please check out her blog, it's got some really interesting ice cream concoctions!

I'll be on vacation in L.A. starting later this week and my goal is to find the Lardon Bacon Truck. Wish me luck!

The Carstache

Not skulls nor bacon but infinitely awesome regardless.



Firestache Orange Handlebar Carstache

Classic Black Handlebar Carstache

Carstache.com

Bacon AT-AT

For bacon-loving Star Wars fans, here's 3 foot tall Bacon AT-AT. 40 pounds of bacon!!!





From the guys that brought us the BA-K-47 last year.

Bacon Jesus

So this guy in the U.K. falls asleep while frying some bacon and "miraculously" wakes up to a house full of smoke and a pan full of extra crispy bacon. After scraping the pan clean, he was left with this Jesus Crust burnt into the bottom:



Real? Not sure, I'm not really a believer in stuff like this. If it is, it's kinda creepy but then at the least we can assume that Jesus loves bacon too.

Bacon Puzzles!

Hi Everyone! I'm back from an unintended, extended blogging vacation but hopefully everyone was too busy during the holidays to notice my lack of posts. At the end of 2009, I took a new position at my company which has me working long hours and no more access to the internet during the day so that seriously cuts down on the time that I have to put into Skulls & Bacon. That said, I'm not giving up this blog, it's way too personally fulfilling, but my updates may take longer than I'd prefer.

My favorite online store Archie McPhee has provided me with a no-brainer first post of 2010. I love jigsaw puzzles and they're always a good bet in the dead of winter when most of us are stuck indoors.

Bacon Tuxedo Puzzle - $9.95Your favorite bacon faux-formalwear doesn't just come in empty box form anymore! This bizarre jigsaw puzzle features a dashing young man in a bacon tuxedo posing with his date.




Sunrise in Meatopia Puzzle - $9.95
What better things do you have to do on a cold winters' night than to piece together a hot dog cabin, a bacon waterfall and a sausage canoe in a gravy lake?



Each 500 piece puzzle is 14" x 18" when assembled. and also includes a 48 piece bonus mystery puzzle!

The Case of the Missing Bacon

Numerous times during my bacon research I have come across news stories of stolen bacon. You know how it is when you need your bacon fix and you're a little short on cash. This story however, made me laugh so I needed to share:

A St. Anne (Illinois) resident reported that $10.18 worth of lunch meats and a slab of bacon were stolen from her car. She told police she came home from a store where she bought the meats and left them inside of her car with all of the windows rolled down while she went inside to eat some watermelon, sheriff's reports said. An old Polaroid camera, also in the car, was missing as well.

Really? She wanted to eat the watermelon so bad that she couldn't carry $10 worth of bacon into the house?

Obviously, bacon burglary is more common than one would think and stores need to protect themselves. For example:



More via passiveaggressivenotes.com (a fabulous, fabulous site)

Some stores, however, have not gotten the memo yet:

Is that three pounds of bacon in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Again? What's with the bacon in the pants?

And one of the more recent cases of The Bacon Bandit.

So many more instances, I could keep going but I'll save them for another installment of The Bacon Files. Until then, watch your bacon and keep it safe! And if you really need a piece of watermelon that bad, take your bacon with you.

Skulls From China!

I've been working crazy hours and haven't been able to rustle up as much free time as I'd like to come and post here. I'm trying though, I hate to feel like I am neglecting Skulls & Bacon!

Yesterday I came across this fun little Skull Cup Holder for your car. It clips to your air vent and pretty inexpensive even coming from China ($6.69 & $5.49 shipping).



The best part however, are the descriptions on this website. Some good Engrish always gets me smiling.

"It makes you drink handily and really enhance your enjoyment while driving."

So obviously I had to look around the site some more to see what other gems were floating about. This one is insane...
Battery Powered Like Real Hamburger Sonant Prank Trick Funny Toy - $7.19



You can use Tricky Hamburger Toy as a perfect gift!
When you open this Tricky Hamburger, it will come out a skull suddenly and it is fearful.
The fearful skull inside the hamburger is flexible and can be folded together.

I must have it!

PC Desktop Computer Skull Fan Grill Dust Cover - $2.69


Pretty awesome although the back of my computer pretty much never sees the light of day.

Funny Grinding Skeleton Grinder Kids Toy - $21.69


-This Funny Skeleton Toy is a very funny Kids Toy with a famous proverb: Money makes the mare go.
-A super funny Grinder Toy for your kids who is ups to 3 years old
-Open the up cover of millstone, put some shampoo in it.
-Put a coin into the rectangle hole and then you can see the skeleton is grinding for money with flashing. When the foam falls off, open the up cover, put some shampoo and water in the millstone will be ok.

Wow, ok. Money makes the mare go? I'm really confused.
Especially cool is that this is good for kids up to 3 years old. Who's handing their 2 year old coins and shampoo?

This one is included just because of the description:
Jeans Gas Cigarette Lighter - $5.69


-Brand new high quality lighter, never used
-Great GIFT for birthday, Christmas, anniversary, wedding ... etc

Really? Awesome, I know what my friends are getting for their wedding present! Anyhow, take a look around the site, it's pretty amusing. And I'm real close to getting that prank hamburger skull thingy.

The Meat Dress

Jia Jem is obviously a big Aqua Teen Hunger Force fan (like me) and is also a super crafty chick (unlike me). Her inspiration for the salami and bacon Meat Dress was Meatwad and her ATHF themed birthday party.



This is some of what Jia Jem had to say about her creation (go to her site for more pics):

"This is the most awesome, disgusting thing I have ever made. I reeked of salty bacon and salami, which I found out is actually quite alluring to guys."

"I contemplated many ideas, including beef jerky, ham, ground beef, prosciutto... but they were all too expensive, thick, and/or runny. I chose salami because it's thin, keeps in one piece, and is quite cheap, and bacon because it looks very, um, meaty. I considered somehow vacuum-sealing sheets of meat with those sealers they have on the markets now, but the machines were too expensive for a one-time-only disposeable dress. I ended up using the K.I.S.S. method of construction, which involved a basic shift dress out of thick cotton. I layed the meat on top, then put clear vinyl over it and sewed tracks with clear thread. I used a wide stitch length to avoid perforating the meat to the point it might just... uh, slide down the bottom of the dress. I also blotted it all before sewing to get rid of as much grease as possible to avoid clouding the vinyl. Lastly, I made sure to bind the bottom of the dress with a strip of clear vinyl to catch drips. (I love talking about this; it's so disgusting.) The whole project took about 6 hours, and I kept it refrigerated until the party. Good times."

The only thing I would have suggested is that she sunbathe for a while in the dress to see if the bacon would cook enough to become edible. Or maybe a tanning bed. Wait, hot grease. Forget it. Still, a creative costume and an awesome dress!

via Boing Boing and Geekologie

Bacon Lube Is Coming!

For Real B.

You may remember the fake bacon products I posted on April Fool's Day. Well, the good (and smart!) folks over at BaconSalt got so much positive feedback on the Bacon Lube that they decided to make it a reality.

On Tuesday, May 12th, the first samples of BaconLube arrived at J&D's Foods global HQ in Seattle, WA. Behold!



I'm not sure how long it takes for products to go from samples to ready to buy, but I'm hoping we'll be able to pre-order this otherwise it might be akin to trying to find a Cabbage Patch doll in 1983.