Monday, May 11, 2009

Thoughts on the Swine Flu Hamdemic

Now that some of the hoopla surrounding Swine Flu, aka H1N1, has simmered down a bit, it's time for me to weigh in. It's not that I don't think this flu is something to take seriously but it's not the end of the world folks so let's have some fun with this.

To all the people who told me to stock up on bacon before it's outlawed, there's some good articles for you to read, like Wash Your Hands, Eat the Bacon and If you Stop Eating Bacon, Swine Flu Wins.

If you really want to help out, you can be safe and fashionable with these masks.

Or, you can do your part in not helping out at all by wasting your time playing the Swinefighter game.

How about some bad jokes? Just insert your own Ba-da-dum after each of these.

Doctor, Doctor. I've just eaten a bacon sandwich, am I going to die?
Depends if the bacon was cured or not.

Doctor, Doctor. I think I have Swine Flu! Don't worry, just rub in this oinkment.

News Flash...The world leaders have issued a joint declaration that the Swine Flu is the start of the a-pork-alypse!

How do you know you've got swine flu?
... the thermometer tells you you're bacon.

How can you tell if your wife might be getting swine flu?
She starts hogging the bed sheets

Why did the pig jump off the tall building?
Cuz he read in the news that Swine Flu!

Other possible conthaminations to be aware of during this epigdemic is Hamthrax.

Yeah, I know that was terrible but don't blame me, I didn't write them.

If you're virus free and proud of it you can get yourself one of these shirts:

Funny how 90 people get the Swine Flu and everyone wears face masks, but millions get Aids and no one wears condoms.

Wash your hands and eat bacon. That's my 2¢.


  1. Hahahahah!! Love the jokes...I'm going to be telling these for weeks..but of course I won't 'hog' all the credit....

  2. I love the Aids comment. Too true! I might get the skull mask just for everyday wearing.

  3. Amen, sister! Love the masks, btw!

  4. i might get me a mask for round two... love the crystal stuff, i would totally carry that purse sweet.